4 month newsletter

Dear Beatrix,
Today you are 4 months old!
This month we drove to Canada to visit lots of family again and you were a real trooper on the 2.5 day drive from Silicon Valley to Alberta. You amaze me at how easily you roll with the punches, taking everything in stride and making this parenting gig seem easy.




This month you've continued to giggle and bless your Mama and Daddy with your gleaming smiles. I still am in awe that I am so lucky to have you! I think that I will be in awe for a while since I am still amazed that I am married to your Daddy and that we have such a wonderful life.
This month was rather busy for you. Papa (my dad) was out for a long visit and you got to know him really well. Daddy turned 30 and you helped to celebrate his birthday. (here you are with your Daddy and his Lego shaped birthday cakes, you couldn't take your eyes off of them!)




Physically you are still a petite little baby, being about the same size as your 2 month old friends, but developmentally you are a four month old baby. (here you are with your cousin Liam, he is 2 months younger than you, and you are the same size, although he can't stand like you and doesn't have the head control that you do.)



You love faces and enjoy looking at yourself in the mirror. You only want to stand and spend a lot of time standing on Mama's lap. Daddy recently found out that you can stand holding on to furnature and you will stand for long stretches of time taking everything in, enjoying your newfound perspective.
Your favourite toys right now are your O ball, your fuzzy rattle and Mama's hair! When you wake up quietly in the morning you will play with Mama's hair ever so gently, just touching it, until you get bored of that game and give it a tug, reminding Mama that it's time to wake up.





When we arrived in Calgary your Great Aunt Joanne had a present for you which was a fuzzy purple spider which you seem to enjoy wrestling. You are able to grasp things a lot easier than you did earlier this month and are grabbing for toys and play things more and more.

I think your eyes have finally settled into the colour that they are going to be. They are the exact same shade of corn flower blue as your Daddy's. I will often get compliments on how you and I have the same eyes, I guess most people think that green and blue are the same colour!

You have started to notice the pets a lot more recently and I can sometimes find you trying to pet Chachi who is often camped out near you since you are always near the soft stuff and goodness knows that dog does not like to place his royal heiney on anything hard! Chachi tolerates your attempts at petting, but I do supervise because while he'll tolerate it I don't want to push him past his limits. I hope for you two to be great friends since he will be around for a long time. Bonsai on the other hand, is a grumpy old man and has bearly noticed you, and you him. Although you will take a swipe at him when he's near. I do really need to watch him, he's not so fond of children, I hope that he will mellow out with even more age and learn to love you. Until then, just ignore him, 'kay. I do wonder though if your first words will be "Shut up Bonsai!" since we yell that often 'cause he likes to wander around the house yodeling!

I think you are starting to sprout some teeth. I've based this guess on the massive amount of drool that you've started to generate and your cheeks are getting a bit of a rosy glow, and by rosy I mean scarlett hue! You've also gone from gently sucking your fingers to madly sucking them in between gnawing on them like a trapped animal. I make you wear a bib now most of the time to catch the copious amounts of drool and I seem to wipe your chin every couple minutes with the bib. I think I might be one of those moms forever chasing you down with a wash cloth in fear that you will get dirty. I promise that I will work on this or toddlerhood will make us both crazy!

Trixie, I continue to marvel at how blessed I am to have you. I really do think that I am the luckiest Mama in the whole wide world. I love you more every day, which I didn't think was possible because I already love you so much, but my love for you keeps growing. It's amazing. Nothing compares to parenthood. This is clearly the best useage of my life.

love Mama.

Trixie talks.

Unflattering video of me, cute video of Trixie.

I tie my baby to my body.

Before I had Trixie I knew about this baby wearing thing, but since I've had her I've fallen absolutely in love with baby wearing. My article of choice is a wrap, so really I do tie Trixie to my body.

In all honestly I've become a bit of a baby wearing snob. I don't much consider it baby wearing if someone is using a bjorn or other mass marketed devise like that. (I'm sure I'll get yelled at for saying that.) I don't consider it baby wearing because there is so much engineering between you and your baby. In the bjorn there is a padded panel that separates you from your baby, where as if you use a wrap you are tummy to tummy with your baby, almost becoming one with your baby. Also I've heard more complains about bjorns than any other carrier, how they are really uncomfortable and how the baby isn't well supported and such. In a wrap a baby is really well supported, and it's comfortable for them. Trixie just curls herself up around my body and snuggles in and often sleeps when I wear her.

Wearing Trixie has also helped me to recover from my c-section and helped to strengthen my abs and back after pregnancy. At my first hard workout back after having her I didn't have any pain when I was working my abs, I totally attribute this to wearing Trixie so much. It's a great work out regime. My muscles are strengthening as she grows, so she isn't too heavy for me. I suspect I'll be able to wear her well into her toddlerhood.

Also baby wearing is so convenient. I can go places with Trixie that I wouldn't be able to take her in a stroller. Shopping is easier since I don't have to worry about lugging a car seat around or dealing with a stroller and a basket as I shop. I just wear Trixie and I go. I have both hands free and she sleeps. And as an added bonus all sorts of people stop to compliment me on Trixie and how cute she is and how she looks so comfortable. Sometimes I feel like such a celebrity in the grocery store in the middle of the day, all of the little old blue hairs stopping me to coo at my baby. It's good for Trixie too when there are a lot of strangers around. She's free to interact with them and feel confident because I am right there, or if she is overwhelmed she can nuzzle into the wrap and hide away from everyone.

While I love wearing Trixie in a Moby, I'm finding that it's a really hot wrap, and with summer breathing down our necks I want something a little lighter. I bought a solar veil wrap and it's nice, but I want this. They are the Rolls Royces of wraps, and they're sturdy and light. I think that the blue one with the daisies is the prettiest. (hint hint Adam... )

hee hee hee.

(okay maybe this post was just a not so subtle ploy to convince Adam that I need the didy, although I do stand by everything I've said.)

Oh My Aching.....

Everything!
Today I went to my trainer's bootcamp workout and I might go and die about now. I haven't trained with her since the early days of my pregnancy because the relaxin kicked my ass. My joints were so loose I would roll my ankle walking and my knees would just periodically give out, so I figured it best to not jump around and stuff which I do when I work out. And then today. Oh golly lolly, I should have just sucked it up and took the chance of blowing out ligaments and such, then I wouldn't be suffering like I am now! (okay it's not that bad, but poetic licence and all)
The reason for the self torture? I've made no bones about wanting another baby, as soon as possible, please. But I need to finish losing the pregnancy weight and then some before the next baby. To this end I have started working out again and I even bit the bullet and joined Weight Watchers, whch has been going suprisingly well. A nice bonus of today's workout was for me to realize that while my fitness has suffered, not too much else has. I can't jump as high, but I can still skip, although not as long, but at least I don't trip all over the place like I expected. It was really nice to work out again, I do love the physicality of it and my trainer rocks and creates a routine that really challanges me and is quick to show results so I keep loving it. Another nice gift from the post partum gods was that my abs have seemed to heal well and I did at least 100 crunches today with no pain! I was a little worried that I would feel pain in my incision or where my abs seperated, but there was nothing. YAY! I totally attribute it to wearing Trixie in a wrap (like a Moby) so much. It's helped to strengthen my abs and my whole core, plus Trixie loves it and I love it, but the merits of babywearing is a whole another post.

Some Booky Love.

She tagged me to do a meme about books. This is an interesting meme for me becasue I am a total book geek/ book hoarder. I have this strange thing wherein I have a hard tome to get rid of a book I've read and I like to own all of the book I've read. For this reason libraries, while amazing and seductive are hard for me because I can't own all of the books I read. (I'm a little weird, I know)
Anyhow on with the meme!

Total number of books I've owned:
I have no idea. I recently did a book purge (which pained me, but I needed more space for more books!) Right now I have about 500, the total number I've owned in my life is much greater than that. I have no idea.

Last book I bought:
I'm on a book buying spree for Trixie, the latest being Canada in Colours by Per-Henrick Gurth.

The last book I read:
Our Babies, Ourselves: How Biology and Culture Shape the Way We Parent. by Meredith F. Small.
Normally I read fiction, but since I am making a lot of non mainstream parenting choices it's nice to read a book that shows that the choices I make are actually more common across the world.

5 books that mean something to me:
1. Little Women by Lousia May Alcott
2. Anne of Green Gables by LM Montgomery (actually the whole series, especially the last one #8 which is Rilla of the Island)
3. The Pillars of the Earth by Ken Follett
4. The Handmaid's Tale by Margaret Atwood
5. Are You There God? It's Me Margaret by Judy Blume
and secret #6 Flowers in the Attic by V. Andrews (so twisted and opened a whole world of messed up stories for me)
secret #7 From The Corner of His Eye by Dean Koontz (so suspensy and so addicting)
secret #8 The Farmer Wants a Wife by Maeve Haren (she's a British author and has this really amazing dry wit that I love so, also see Mike Gayle)

5 people who should answer these questions....
how about you do it and then get back to me!

100 Days!

Dear Trixie,

100 days ago today my Little Love I had a surgery which I had dreaded, but it ended in the best way possible. 100 days ago today you were born by emergency c-section.

For a long time I was really upset that you weren't born into a serene space, but I know it's okay now. You are none the worse for how you were born, you are a really happy baby and I love being your Mama more than anything else in the whole wide world.

Today your Daddy planned a surprise 100 day celebration for you and me. Some of your friends and their mamas came over and we had ice cream cake. Well the Mamas had cake you and the other babies watched, perhaps a little intrested.



Now while a 100 day celebration is a Korean tradition your Mama thinks it's a great idea and wanted to have one, but it slipped her mind. Good thing your Daddy is so thoughtful, eh?



Trixie, these past 100 days have been the most amazing and the most terrible of my life. The week you were in the NICU was the most frightening time of my life.



I haven't cried as hard as I did when I found out you were sick since my Grannie died. However you have brought me so much joy! I can feel the love coming from you when I hold you, make you smile or soothe you. I have always known that a child loves its parents, and vise versa, but to feel that love is wonderful.

It's amazing to me how much you've grown in the past 100 days, from such a tiny baby into a slightly larger 3 month old, but more than your physical growth has been how your personality has developed. You are a little ham! You love to giggle and you crack me up every day. I wonder what you are going to be like as a toddler. I know it's going to be amazing. You are stubborn too, but not in a way that is difficult to handle. You just know what you do and don't like and you let me know, but you are completly reasonable.

Since you are such an amazing baby I want to be pregnant again so that you can have a sibling as soon as possible. I wonder though that if you've lulled me into a false sense of security because you are such a dream to take care of. I guess we'll just wait and see!

I love you more than I can describe my little Beatrix Gabrielle, and I am so grateful that you chose me to be your Mama.

I need to remember

The other day just after we had woken up Adam, Trixie and I were laying in bed just talking and playing. So in between intoxicating baby giggles I asked Trixie where Daddy was and she looked over to Adam! (she sleeps between us) Then Adam asked her where Mama was and she looked back over to me. Based on this I've concluded that she's a little genius. In all seriousness though it warmed my heart. She knows who we are by name! Then today I asked her where Chachi was while we were playing in bed and she looked over to him. Now I'm not sure if she knows him by name or if he moved and the movement caught her attention, so I'll try that experiment again. It's really amazing to see her interacting like that. I think it's almost time to start the baby sign language lessons. I initially planned to wait a little while, but I think she can start now.



Last night we were eating dinner and I had Trixie on the island with us, sitting her in her Bumbo so that she could be part of dinner. To further amuse her I gave her a tea spoon to hold and wave around. Adam commented that she would poke herself in the face with it and as soon as he said it she whacked herself in the eye with the spoon. I held my breath waiting for her to start crying or something and instead my silly little girl breaks out in the biggest smile and started belly laughing for all she was worth. It was quite funny listening to her laugh like that, Adam, my dad and I all started laughing with her, which only made her laugh harder. I nearly had tomato sauce coming out of my nose! The rest of dinner was less eventful, but I really liked having Trixie there as part of the meal, I think I'll include her more.