100 Days!

Dear Trixie,

100 days ago today my Little Love I had a surgery which I had dreaded, but it ended in the best way possible. 100 days ago today you were born by emergency c-section.

For a long time I was really upset that you weren't born into a serene space, but I know it's okay now. You are none the worse for how you were born, you are a really happy baby and I love being your Mama more than anything else in the whole wide world.

Today your Daddy planned a surprise 100 day celebration for you and me. Some of your friends and their mamas came over and we had ice cream cake. Well the Mamas had cake you and the other babies watched, perhaps a little intrested.



Now while a 100 day celebration is a Korean tradition your Mama thinks it's a great idea and wanted to have one, but it slipped her mind. Good thing your Daddy is so thoughtful, eh?



Trixie, these past 100 days have been the most amazing and the most terrible of my life. The week you were in the NICU was the most frightening time of my life.



I haven't cried as hard as I did when I found out you were sick since my Grannie died. However you have brought me so much joy! I can feel the love coming from you when I hold you, make you smile or soothe you. I have always known that a child loves its parents, and vise versa, but to feel that love is wonderful.

It's amazing to me how much you've grown in the past 100 days, from such a tiny baby into a slightly larger 3 month old, but more than your physical growth has been how your personality has developed. You are a little ham! You love to giggle and you crack me up every day. I wonder what you are going to be like as a toddler. I know it's going to be amazing. You are stubborn too, but not in a way that is difficult to handle. You just know what you do and don't like and you let me know, but you are completly reasonable.

Since you are such an amazing baby I want to be pregnant again so that you can have a sibling as soon as possible. I wonder though that if you've lulled me into a false sense of security because you are such a dream to take care of. I guess we'll just wait and see!

I love you more than I can describe my little Beatrix Gabrielle, and I am so grateful that you chose me to be your Mama.