One month post.

Technically this is a week late since Trixie is 5 weeks today, but it's been a crazy month.
Anyhow shamelessly copying the likes of Dooce and Cecily I figured I should write to Trixie monthly.... enjoy.


Dear Trixie,
Today you are 5 weeks old! Five! Weeks! The time has flown, and yet it's crawled. You've made some amazing changes in these past weeks, morphing from a squirming baby to a little baby with some personality. Or I guess it's more that I am learning more about your personality. When I was pregnant with you I liked to wonder what you would be like. I often guessed that you would be opinionated based on the amount you kicked me, especially if I was ina position that you didn't like; and oddly enough you are an opinionated little one! You do not like to be alone, you must be held when you are awake, but I don't mind. I am sure some people will think that I spoil you, but I think that you should be spoiled! You are quite expressive, making all sorts of faces ever since birth. Most of those faces look like you are in distress, but I've learned that they are just your classic Trixie faces. They've even left little wrinkles on your forhead, so I think we're going to have to look into toddler versions of Botox in a couple years.
Most recently you've started to smile, which initally freaked me out because it was a smily face that you made when you were 2 days old and had a seizure, so when you smiled at me the other day I had a minor panic attack. But you are fine, and you are starting to smile. I know that some of it is reflex, but some isn't, and golly it makes me so happy to see that smile of yours! I want to say I can't wait until you do it more, but I don't want to wish away this time with you.

For most of the first week of your life you were in the NICU, which broke my heart. It was so hard for me to leave you there everyday when they shooed me out for one reason or another. But be assured, I spent more time in there than I didn't. I would often go in at night just to hold you. Since you were connected to so many wires I had to hold you carefully and mostly upright. Which was fine with you, but I couldn't see your wee face. I did become really familar with the top of your fuzzy head, which I stroked my cheek on. Then the day before you were a week old you were released, the doctors were unsure why you had the seizure. Their best guess was that my placenta stopped working well for you and you lost weight before you were born, then after you just didn't have the baby fat stores to live off of while my milk came in, so your blood sugar dropped and you had a seizure. But you are home now, and you are thriving, growing the way you should and making your mama and daddy so happy.