Birth Story Part 3.

While I was signing all of the papers for the c-section there was one part where I had to put in the date, so being totally confused, upset and in pain I asked what day it was. The doctor replied that it was a day that I would never forget, February 24. I remember being irritated that he wouldn't just tell me the date, then it dawned on me that it was the day that my baby would be born.
Golly.
After signing everything I spoke with the anesteologist, whom we will call needle doc, he came to ask standard questions, my height, weight etc. I was disappointed to realize that Adam knew my weight despite me trying to keep it from him for 41 weeks, it was probably good that he knew since I had another contraction.
There would be a little time before I went to the OR, so the pitocin was turned off when they determined that I would need the c-section and my contractions really eased up, becoming totally manageable. I wonder if that is what labour would have been like and the pitocin ones were just really bad like I've read. I guess I'll see when I have the next baby.
About 20 minutes after I sign the papers I am wheeled into the OR, my current nurse and another older nurse that I don't remember meeting are there with me along with the man doctor, needle doc and another younger woman OB, whom was the nicest ever. The nurses position me on the operating table and I practice arching my back out for needle doc to place the spinal. I am given some numbing stuff and then I get to wait a minute for it to work. In the mean time I have another contraction and the older nurse tells me to focus on a point and breathe through the contraction. I felt irritated that she was telling me how to handle them. In the same contraction I rationalize to myself that I am just tired and she is trying to help. By now my skin is numb and needle doc can put the spinal in. I assume the position and he puts the needle in and I scream. It wasn't so much that it was painful, but it was really uncomfortable, I feel a strange popping sensation and I had a contraction. Also I was at the point where all I could do to handle anything was scream. After he is done they lay me down and start the catheter, which again was uncomfortable and a little demoralizing. About now needle doc starts checking to see if I am numb. He starts with something cold then moves to something pokey. I couldn't feel anything, but I was so scared that I would feel the surgery.
After the barrier is placed I am given oxygen to help the baby and I ask if I needed it, and I was told yes. I didn't like the smell of it and it was contributing to my claustrophobia which came on strong when I realized that I couldn't move my legs. And while I couldn't move them I had this strange sensation that they were bent and I kept trying to straighten them, despite being told that they are straight, that my mind just remembered which position they were last in before I lost sensation.
Now Adam comes in and sits next to me in all of his blue scrubs wonder. He holds my hand which is taped down to prevent me from accidentally touching the sterile part of myself. The surgery starts. I don't feel anything and anticipate the pressure I was warned of. I wait, and try not to cry. I feel dry though, like I have no tears in me left, and no energy to produce any. Then I am told that there will be pressure, and there was. I scream, again and then I am shown Beatrix. She's so pretty. I notice her dark hair and the glob of orange goo that is on her cheek. As they were pulling her out of me Adam puts the camera over the barrier and just clicks, and amazingly they are clear pictures, I hear him choke down tears as he welcomes our baby into the world, I don't cry, but I do choke, I'm way too overwhelmed to cry. Adam leaves me to see the baby and brings her back to me. All I can reach is her little hand and I just stroke her fingers, marveling that I am now a mother and I have a precious little baby. Totally overwhelmed with love.
Adam sits with the baby as I am stitched up in what seems to take forever. I start shaking uncontrollably and my arms keep trying to roll off of the little arm boards that they are on. I manage to wedge one on and Adam holds the other on for me. Then he goes back to where they are checking over the baby. I can't see anything so I watch the canister which is being filled with my blood. I wonder how much I am losing and if everything will be okay. Then Adam comes back with the baby and I totally forget about my blood loss. (which was decent, by the way)
Eventually I am all stitched up and I am transferred to another gurney and wheeled out. Beatrix is placed in the crook of my arm and I am aware of her slight weight and notice how she is wiggling. I think that she is like those fake baby dolls that make random movements on soap shows, except she is warm, and real. It's all so surreal. Adam takes pictures of me, and I am told to smile, I make an attempt, and my eyes are closed, I am so tired.
I am wheeled back to my labouring room and my doula and midwife are there, waiting with food for Adam. They marvel at my perfect little princess and help me start to breastfeed. Beatrix latches on like she's been doing it forever and I just bask. Eventually they leave, going back to their lives and I am moved to the post partum ward, where I meet another host of amazing nurses.

And this ends the birth of Beatrix Gabrielle.

Pictures here.