Family Photos....

Becasue I can....

3 months

Dear Trixie,
Today you are 3 months old. My little darling you are this close to being an old lady! Well not really, but if you keep changing at this rate I wouldn't doubt it! Every day there is something new that you learn or discover. You are still facinated with your hands and will spent a lot of time studying them, but now you are practicing grasping things and moving them. Your daddy and I have noticed that you seem to favour your left hand, so we think you're going to be left handed. I'm excited about this because historically some of the most creative people have been left handed!
This month Daddy and I bought you a Bumbo seat so that you can sit up and you seem to really love it. We'll sit you in it in front of your dangling toys so you can see them at another level, this seems to amuse you, and you tug and pull at them. I've also started reading you stories while you sit in your little seat and you love the stories. I hope you love reading as much as I do, and to help you be a reader I am buying you lots of books to build you a good library. Daddy pretends to be mad at me for buying you more books, but I know he's joking, he wants you to be a little reader too!

This month Papa has been here for a couple weeks and so you've been able to spend a lot of time with him. I often find you cuddled up to Papa on the couch watching some sports. I think he would love for you to be a hockey fan! We took lots of pictures of you while you were looking over Papa's shoulder, that was so that he could have a picture of you like he has of your cousin Tessa. All in all you've had a great time with Papa, you give him lots of smiles and giggles and even tolerate is prickly beard!


And speaking of giggles. You've learned to giggle and it's the greatest sound I've ever heard. I can get you to erupt into giggles by saying to you "ah-goo" which is your favorite phrase. Today I made you giggle by bouncing you on my knee. I think you will be ready for a jolly jumper soon. You will stand now with a lot of assistance and really seem to like standing, it always brings out lots of smiles. So far you aren't pulling or trying to stand on your own, but you will straighten and put weight on your legs when someone holds you in a standing position. Daddy likes to fly you around the room and you hold your head up really well while he does this. You are getting so strong, it's amazing to watch you grow.
This past week I joined a play group that has other Mama with babies born this year and 2006. It's been nice to talk to other people in the same place as we are and see other children who are a little older. It's really made me get excited for you to be a toddler, but I still don't want you to grow up too fast. I think you will have lots of fun with all of the other babies that we are meeting! So far you just sleep when we are around them. I wonder if some of the other moms think that maybe you sleep all of the time!
Oh and Trixie, my little sweetie girl, what's with the drooling? Aren't you too little to be cutting teeth? And it's not like you really drool, but rather you blow bubbles which pop and turn into drool. It's become such a habit for you that you've started doing it in your sleep. I'll hear you 'pffft' and I'll see a little patch of bubbles sitting on your sweet little rosebud lips, but soon you'll do it again, and again and eventually you have a bubble beard if I'm not careful and wipe them up as you make them. I think you are proud of your bubble beards, but my little darling, it's kinda gross, so I'll keep wiping them up, okay.


Another little habit you've developed is this cute, yet annoying way of trying to swipe at your bottle while I am feeding you. It's like you want to put your hands in your mouth and hold your bottle all at the same time. Or perhaps you have no idea what you are doing and you are just flailing them willy nilly. If this is the case, well I'll deal with it since I am bigger and can deal with it. Most times when you eat though you just curl your hands up under your bottle and chug away making the cutest noises ever!
I'm really excited to see what your 4th month brings us. We have another trip to Canada planned, we're going to visit some more friends and you will get to meet a lot more relatives.


love Mama.

Infertili-what?

Today at a playgroup I was talking to one of the other moms who conceived her baby through IVF, so I shared my story with her how Trixie is an IUI baby. We spent the next 40 minute or so sharing our stories and talking about when we were each going to try again. (me later this year, her maybe next year) Then we both reminded each other about the infertile gone fertile urban myth. How some mothers will just have all of her problems magically go away after she gives birth the first time. Other mothers that were sitting near us and heard the conversation also assured us that they know of someone who knows someone who turned fertile and "it was amazing!" I smiled and nodded, secretly hoping that I'll someday have an "accident baby", but in reality I suspect I'll be injecting myself on a daily basis again for a couple weeks to get Trixie a sibling.
Then on my way home I was thinking about the whole conversation and how talking about it kind of dredged up some old feelings. I had forgotten how gutted I was every time I would get my period, or how when I found out a good friend had her baby I sobbed so hard I nearly lost my voice. I'd forgotten how lonely I felt, feeling like everyone around me was getting pregnant and I couldn't, even though I wanted to so badly.
I feel like I shouldn't forget those times, after all I was so consumed with my efforts to get pregnant, and I will have to go through it again. It's kind of like if I don't remember the efforts I put in I'm doing an injustice to every imagined baby I would have had each time I'd slog through another two week wait.
On the other hand I don't want to dwell on something so depressing when I have her to look at every day.

Tweedle Dea the (unpaid) Pundit

The other day the California Supreme court overturned the ban on same sex marriage. And for the record I am 100% in support allowing same sex marriage. (doesn't same sex marriage sound so much better than gay marriage?) I have always felt that same sex marriages should be allowed because it's a basic right, and everyone should have the right to marry their soul mate, life partner, childhood sweetheart or whatever it may be. To reiterate, it's a right, everyone should have this right, not just some of us.
As I proclaim this I am sure that I am going to irritate some people and I am donning my fire protecting suit for the flaming I might get for saying this. However what if random people like me don't support these decisions and the rabid right gets their way and dictates what is allowed and what isn't, then what kind of a world will my daughter grow up in? What if she finds out her soul mate is a woman but she can't be free to have the same life I do for the simple fact of genitalia? I would be devastated! But without looking to the future, I think of the daughters and sons of now, who are by omission, being classed as second rate citizens. It's just not right, and it's really not fair.
I've had this argument several times with my father, brother and even my mother (among other people) about the rights of same sex couples. They all think that homosexuality is wrong and heterosexuality is right. The argument I use against them is to ask them why they care. What does it matter to them if their neighbour is gay? Are they scared it will rub off on them? Are they scared that they will turn gay by association? Are they not secure in their own sexuality? Often I am met with scowls and remarks about the bible with these comments, which kinda amuses me since we're not at all a religious family, and really if we were to abide by everything in the bible I should have been sold into slavery a long time ago. My argument boils down to why care if it's not hurting or affecting you? No one is forcing anyone to be gay, and you can't turn gay by associating or knowing someone who is.
Another argument that the nay sayers use is that same sex marriage devalues their own traditional marriage. However, I feel that only people that can devalue the marriage are the two people in the marriage. So if you feel that your marriage is strong how can it be weakened or devalued if your gay neighbours make the same commitments you have. Shouldn't we applaud them instead? In a society where there is a 50% divorce rate shouldn't we applaud other people who are willing to work on a relationship and make a commitment. Some of the couples on the news who were applying for marriage licences had been together for many years, having already made a lifelong commitment to their partner and now just wanted it to be legal. Their relationships had already outlasted many traditional marriages; clearly they have proven that they are marriage material!
And finally another reason for me to be a proud Canadian. Canada has allowed same sex marriages since 2003. In fact Vancouver has been a mecca for same sex marriages since then, becoming quite the destination. I hope that the USA will follow in the footsteps of Canada and become far more progressive. I hope this for the sake of my daughter's generation.

It will grow flowers....

Adam may have been right....

I'm a hippy.

Today my midwife came over to pick up her birth pool and give us a receipt and I sent my placenta home with her. Initially I asked for it from the hospital because I wanted to encapsulate it, but since I needed stupid drugs I can't use it, so it's just been taking up space in my freezer. She said that she would take it home and use it in her garden, which makes me happy that it isn't just going to get thrown out. But that's not what makes me a hippy. As I was pulling it from the freezer I peeked into the outer bag and thanked it.
Yes, Internets I thanked my placenta. And the scary part is I didn't realize I had done it until I handed the bag over and realized that I thanked it.
I know that some people highly regard their placentas and some hold special ceremonies or other rituals to thank their placentas for what they've done. But I didn't know I was one of those people. I guess I am.

I think I need to go and buy some birkenstocks now... I wonder if they make baby ones too?

2 months

Dear Trixie,
This was a really busy month for you, we went up to Canada and you met many many friends and relatives. You were mostly content to be held by all of them, but there were a few moments where no one but Mama was acceptable, and I can't lie, I loved that you wanted only me. I'm finding it really amazing that you love me so much, and that you are my little baby. Even after 2 months I'm still wrapping my mind around it. Anyhow you were a trooper and gave everyone smiles and won all of their hearts. You met some other babies and they loved you too. Your nose was beeped several times and you went along with it, cooing and gurgling in the cute little manner that you do.

You discovered your hands this month and you have spent several hours a day since then studying your hand and more recently you've learned that you can suck on your fingers. You will fuss and struggle to get your middle and ring fingers into your mouth and then when you do you suck contentedly making an adorable slurping sound. (Daddy complains that when he makes similar sounds I don't find them as cute, especially when he farts. Your farts are cute, Daddy's are not.) You first saw and recognized your hands when we were at your Uncle Dale's house dropping the dog off so we could go to Canada guilt free. Uncle Dale was holding you in a sitting position on his lap and you balled up your little fist in the girly manner (thumb in) and then spend the next twenty minutes just staring at your fist at every angle. I became totally engrossed watching you and was a little miffed that your dad and uncle didn't find it to be as facinating as I did. It was then I solidified my opinion that you are genius. The amount of intensity that you used to study your wee little fist was pretty amazing, clearly you are meant to do great things!

While we were in Canada you saw your first snow and Mama was not happy about it! I hadn't packed the right clothes for you, luckily though, we have some great friends in Canada who lent us some clothes to keep you warm. Again you were a trooper and didn't even bat an eyelash at the cold, although you didn't like the wind so much. I'm happy that we're home now and that I don't have to worry about your cute little nose freezing off, but I do have to worry about you getting a sun burn. But we're in month three now, so I'll wait to mention that....


love Mama.