Warning Labels

Today I went to get my new prescriptions, and I thought I would share the warning labels on the bottles with you.

On Metformin:
take with food they really mean it too, it sucks if you don't
This medication may cause an uncommon, but serious condition called lactic acidosis. Seek medical attention if symptoms develop. This one scares me because from what I understand lactic acidosis is a really bad case of lactic acid build up. Lactic acid makes your muscles sore after you work out, and I work out hard, so sometimes I'm sore, and I freak out. But since I'm still alive it must be from working out, not the drug.
Severe or prolonged vomiting or diarrhea may cause dehydration. Call your doctor if these occur to see if you should stop taking this medication. I don't get this, but I am nauseous all of the time
Do not drink alcohol. It makes your blood sugar lower and makes you even more pukey. But I haven't temped fate to find that out first hand.

On Femara:
This medicine may be taken with or without food.
May cause drowsiness. Alcohol may intensify this effect. Use care when operating a car or dangerous machinery. Tammy, I know you have something to say about this.
Pregnant women should avoid contact with this medication. I find this mildly amusing, since it's being used to get me preggos.
May cause dizziness.

On Doxycycline: (an antibiotic I need to take before I have my hysterosalpingogram)
Take this medication at least 2 hours before or 2 hours after magnesium or aluminum products containing calcium, iron or zinc.
Medication should be taken with plenty of water.
Do not lie down for at least 30 minutes after taking this medication.
You should avoid prolonged or excessive exposure to direct and/ or artificial sunlight while taking this medication. I should anyhow.

Clearly the reason I am so bitchy three weeks of the month is because my body is desperately trying to save itself from an onslaught of evil in pill form.