Explicative!

So today mother nature lets me know that I'm not pregnant. For those playing along, that's bad news in Chez Berkan. I'm at the point now that I know that I need to keep truckin' along, but the drama queen in me just wants to throw her hands up and wail out empty threats at the universe.
I'm so tired of this, I wonder how couples can do this for years? It's taking all of my strength now, and I know we haven't been trying that long. Which brings up another issue, I am aware that we have only been trying for 9 cycles, but it's still hurts, ya dig? Very well meaning people* have pointed out to me that I haven't been trying that long, and I feel guilty for getting so wrapped up in trying to get pregnant. I want to know when it's appropriate for me to start being sad, after a year, two, seven? I really try to not talk about it too much, but it has consumed me, and who I am. I've always been a drama queen but with the added hormones, it's intensified and sometimes I need to talk about it, or I might explode. Poor Chachi can only listen so much, and Bonsai sleeps all day. I don't like to blog about it in a serious manner for a variety of reasons that I can't really put my finger on, mostly pride I guess.
So anyhow I'm sad. So sad.


*there have been a few people that have said this, I'm not mad at anyone and I am not meaning for this to be an attack or even a chiding to anyone. I understand that it's said out of pure love, and I am happy that I have friends that care for me and try to make me feel better.