The Source...

of all my powers!
So when I got back from good ol' Canuck land I went for a CT scan to figure out what type of alien is trying to burrow out of my head through my temples. As it turns out there is no alien. Hmm go figure. Now I know it's not a tumour, or I would have been drooling all over myself a while ago. Hmmm again. Well off to radiology to turn me into a 3 eyed walking fish. I loves me some radiation!
So the other day I got the results from the test, as it turns out I have chronic mastoiditis.
I have no idea what chronic mastoiditis is, but it's somehow linked to the sclerotic bony change in the left mastoid air cells. Again I have no idea. But I do think that the mastoiditis is the source of all my powers. I will call them the Melania Powers!
Now I'm off to consult with Dr.Google and I'll let you know, unless I have something better to talk about.
Cheerio!

edited to add...
from something I read on the Internet, and we know if you read it on the Internet, it must be true!
The Melania Powers are somehow realated to my inner ear, and affect mostly boys under the age of 5, but that is the accute kind, I have the chronic kind.
"Chronic mastoiditis is a potentially serious disease because of its complications."
Now isn't that exciting. I'm not going to stress though, cause I haven't spoken to my Dr. so I am sure it's ok.
Right.
RIGHT!
right?