Ahhh gym time again

Today I was back at the gym gettin' my Malibu Barbie thing goin' on when I looked around and realized that it was all hoppin' busy considering it is a holiday and there was some guy wearing a touque. So later I mentioned the touque wearer to Julie (my trainer) and she looked at me with this blank expression. Normally she picks up on my humour when it's directed at the other gym goers, but this time she was lost. I pointed him out to her.
"The guy, with the touque, on JULY THIRD!"
I'm met with another blank look.
"On the treadmill, he's wearing the black touque."
"Ohhhh!" She replies, "the beanie!"
On Internet, I am so Canadian. To me a Beanie is a hat with a twirlygig on the top, or my niece, who we call Beanie, Beaner or any such Bean-ish name. A Beanie isn't a touque. Getting back to the touque, really a touque, in the gym, while doing cardio, IN JULY? Again I am so Canadian. I just don't get it. The gym was hot like well, look back a few posts and you'll get an idea how hot it was, and he was wearing a hat? I just am baffled.

I have new gym characters. It's the Omega Brothers. They both have the Omega sign branded on to their arms, and both have the attitude that they own the gym, and no fat white girl should be using a machine that they would possibly want to consider using. They were moaning to each other that I was going to do my whole workout on the machine I was on. To which I reply.

Dear Sweet Omega Brothers:
Yes I like to work out on the cables. They are exceptionally nice, and allow me to do more circuits when I work out.
What is a circuit you ask?
It's a series of exercises that are done one set after the last in a rotating fashion so that your heart rate can stay up and you can get optimal results. This is why I was doing more than one workout at a time on them, thereby using the machine longer than Anorexic Barbie who was before me. I'm sorry that you had to wait your turn and that you had to roll your eyes so much. It was dreadful I know, I was a horrible person, and clearly I should be kicked out of the gym.
But wait.... you rarely work out there, and I have a trainer, who I pay a HECK of a lot to. So really... I am at the top of the workerouters food chain and you, my sweet boys,
CAN WAIT YOUR TURN!
Sincerely,
TweedleDea

Oh yeah, everything you were doing on the cables when you got to them, all wrong! If you would have dropped the arms of the machine down, you would have had the desired effect. Just thought you should know....
TD


Anyhow the Omega Brothers. They were kinda cute, but the attitude, it brought TweedleBitch out a little and I had to focus on not letting her snark when they were around. Oh it was hard Internet, so hard. wax on young grasshopper, wax on.

While I was doing my cardio I noticed this older lady who was using the ab machines, which are right in front of the cardio stuff I use; anyhow I was looking at her all puzzled by her and at a loss for what was wrong. Then it dawned on me. She was wearing shimmery pink tights under her shorts. Her shimmery legs kept me mesmerized for a good 10 minutes, which made my cardio a little less hellish. I do wonder though, why? What is the purpose of the tights? Or the thong bodysuit? Why?

I guess that is one of life's great questions, up there with, which came first, the chicken or the egg. Why do the little old ladies wear bad 80s workout attire?