Patience

Dear The Impatient Jackass behind me at a light.

Sir, I understand that the light turned green a millisecond ago, and I apologize that I haven't peeled out of the intersection fast enough for you. However I must implore you not to honk your horn at me exactly half a second after the light changes. (Yes it was half a second, and I'm being generous.) I will explain why I don't jump on my accelerator when the light changes. First there are still cars in the intersection, I don't want to hit them, call me crazy, but I don't want to be in an accident. Second squealing out of an intersection is lame, I try not to do it. Third, it's surprisingly easy for me to squeal on out, you see I drive a hemi, and if I jump on the accelerator from a dead stop there will be squealing. Finally I care about my car, if I floor it out of every intersection I will need new tired ever 20,000 miles. (The last guy that owned the car owned it for 20, 000 miles and the back tires were bald, he was the original owner.) So Mr. Late-Model-Civic just wait. You will have noticed that once I get my tires rolling I quickly make my way down the street. (After all I do enjoy the hemi). In any case if you care to debate this further, meet me at the next light and I will demonstrate just how small your penis is, 'cause a Dodge Magnum with a hemi will always beat a 4 banger. Every. Time. Just like rock beats scissors.
So in order to save your masculinity, let the girl in the really hot car drive responsibly, and you, be patient.

Thank you,
The girl in the smokin' hot Magnum.