Barbies, Barbies Everywhere!

Today I had an extended cardio session at the gym. My regular trainer is on holidays and the fill in dude double booked himself so I got the bump. I figured since I was already sweaty I might as well get good and sweaty to make it worth the laundry. So I did 90 minutes on the cross trainer, I can't do anything small scale can I? Sigh. Last Friday I had another trainer and he seem skeptical that I could do what I said I could, so he made me do all of these things, it made me feel like he was testing me. And Internet, I do not fail. Ever. And I ripped my abs. Oi it hurts. I woke up screaming on Saturday because I rolled over and ripped them more, I scared myself and Adam. I explained the pain to him as having an 8 pound medicine ball pass through your sphincter. Adam winced. (Hey, preggos, hee hee hee... have fun with that. kidding, you know I'm jealous!) Anyhow long mini story short, it was ok that I was bumped cause I am sore, with a capital HOLY MOTHER OF ALL THINGS SACRED AND PURE. As I was sweatin' to the oldies or rather with the oldies I people watched. I have mentioned some of the gym characters before like Menopausal Barbie and I thought I would give you a run down of some of the other ones:
Mullet Man>> duhn na duhn na dude looks like a laaaadeah! This guy is straight from 1984! He fully is business in the front and a party in the back. Complete with the dirty sweat stained white baseball cap on backwards back on his head as to show his full voluminous bangs. I love his hair band t-shirts and his high tops. I have to give him credit though, he works hard, and he exudes sexuality, if you're into the man that 1984 left behind.
The old Chinese Couple>> These two are cute. She wears full makeup and flits from station to station in a sporadic circuit, he spends a lot of time on the thigh machines where all of the young women frequent. When they left today they were holding hands.
The Naked Ladies>> These ladies scare me the most. They all take the water aerobic classes together and they mill in the change room afterwards all naked and talking about inane things as they smear themselves down with expensive lotion. I keep my eyes to the ground and get out of there as fast as I can.
Big Jesus Guy>> This guy is kinda hot! He's huge, and seems really shy, I've never seen him talk to any one. He's always wearing a t-shirt that says "Got Jesus?". I can't make fun of him, he's too hot.
Funky Hippie Chick>> She wears clogs to the gym and takes them off when she is on a machine. It makes me really happy to know that I always wear my shoes on the machines. Also she doesn't shave her arm pits. Seriously though, who works out in clogs?
Various Muscle Heads>> 'Nuff said.
Finally the Crème de la Crème:
Geriatric Barbie>> Today was the first time that I saw her, she was wearing a fuchsia thong body suit over black leggings, and white tube socks. I was scared. Her and Mullet Man might hit it off, except she was old. And saggy.

I'm going straight to hell for this post.