31 weeks

Holy moly I'm that pregnant!
I was in Canada for my 30th week and it was hard. I felt healthy, but I just wanted to be home with Adam. I had a great time with Tessa and my family, but I wanted to be home. Sigh. The snow was dreadful. Every time I had to wipe snow off of the car I cursed out loud to every snow flake, and there were a lot of them. I know I've said I miss snow, so I should qualify it, I miss it under my skis while I am bundled in all of my gear and the only part of me that gets touched by snow are my cheeks. Snow in any other situation is horrid.

So on to 31 weeks. The baby is about 4 naval oranges according to baby centre, it's interesting that she's moved on from being one fruit to 4.

When I remember to do my kick counts I can generally count 10 kicks in about 5 minutes. I do confess that I rarely do them because she's made it more than obvious to me that she's there and she's having a grand ol' time.

While I was in the bath the other day I was just zoning out watching the water and I noticed that it was moving, but I wasn't deep enough for it to be my breath moving it, and I realized the baby had the hiccups and she was making the little currents. So cool. Then the next day it happened again, except it was her kicking, so the ripples were much more erratic and larger. I think seeing that may go down as the most fascinating ever, more than the ultrasounds.

When my mom pointed out to Tessa that I had a baby in my tummy, Tessa immediately pulled up my shirt demanding the baby come out now. It was cute, and I had to explain to her that she can see the baby when there are flowers outside. I don't think she understood, but she stopped tugging on my shirt demanding to see the baby.

Seeing as I am in my 31st week I have 6 weeks left until I am in my window where I can safely have a home birth. (the window is 37-42 weeks) I don't profess to know if I will be closer to the 37th or the 42nd, but the anticipation will reach a whole new pitch I'm sure!

The baby still seems to react to sugar, and still hates any pressure on her. Today she was kicking the seat belt when I was driving, and I always make sure it's well under my belly, but apparently Little Miss thought it wasn't good enough.

I am getting killer heart burn and apples can barely touch it any more. I need to take lots of activated charcoal and other remedies, but if I have too many pills in me they try to pop out since the opening to my stomach doesn't close right. (yay for relaxin!) Sleep is getting harder and harder. Adam and I broke down today and bought be some really fluffy synthetic pillows because with my body being bigger my little feather pillow wasn't holding me up properly, resulting in a sore neck and numb arms. We also bought a straight body pillow 'cause my curvy one tangles me up at night. I still want to sleep on my stomach, and I kinda can, but Little Miss doesn't so much like it. I'll move if she puts up a fuss or if there's any pain. I've realized I can lay on my back for extended periods of time, which is supposed to be a huge pregnancy no-no, but I figure if there is no pain, I'm okay. That being said Little Miss doens't always like it, and I have noticed it can bring on some Braxton contractions (so I move).

My late pregnancy morning sickness seems to have abated, which is nice, but I still have no appetite to speak of. I often find that I have passed hungry and have lapsed into the shakeies because I don't eat enough, which is weird because I don't feel hungry. Normally I am on top of when I ate last and what I need now, but sometimes I get busy and without any cues from my body I don't realize how long it's been. I find this to be so strange because if you know me at all you know that remembering to eat is not an issue of mine. It has created a shift in how I eat, less crap and a whole lot more wholesome. Although in reality I've always been quite wholesome, but it's the sweet tooth that has been my Achilles heel, but now it's mostly gone.

Adam seems to be excited for the baby, he reminded me when I was in Canada that I had her to keep me company and it was strange for him to call her by her name to me. We haven't divulged her name to family yet, we want to keep it a secret, and I don't want anyone to get attached to a name and then have us change our minds. I'm also worried that someone close to me would pooh-pooh the name or suggest something else, and we love the name we've chosen, I don't want any negativity to linger in my mind about it. (and it would, I can really hold on to some things, and we did tell someone close, very early in pregnancy and they did pooh-pooh it, and I felt horrible)

So that's about it for the 31st week. We're on the hunt for a doula. When I was explaining what a doula was to my brother's fiancee, my mom suggested that she be it for me, and I shot her down fast. I think I was a little harsh, but I just don't think I would be able to relax enough with my mom or Adam's mom there. (sorry!) The thought of having non-professionals there except for Adam and I makes me a little nervous. I understand that some people need to have their whole family there, but I am not that person. I will be more than happy to have my family come around after I've established a secure breastfeeding relationship with the baby. I don't know how long that will take. Personally I would like to have 2 weeks alone with just Adam and I to bond with the baby and bond with each other as new parents. Right now Adam and I know each other so well as individuals, as husband and wife, but we don't know each other as mother and father. I am really looking forward to meeting my husband the father, and seeing my new little family all together bonding, just the three of us (and the pets). It seems romantic and deeply personal to me to have this time alone with my new family, to really learn who my daughter is and for her to learn who I am and who her father is.
That all being said I am sure I will get comments and emails telling me how great it was to have a million different people around them right after their baby was born. All I can say to that is, I'm glad you have the experience you did, and that you're happy with it. This is just a personal desire of mine, just like me wanting a home birth and a variety of other issues that we'll get to touch on later when it comes to raising this little girl.