Cinco De Mayo

Today is Cinco De Mayo, it's May 5th in Spanish. It's a festive Mexican holiday; and before I'd lived here I had never heard of it. It's a day that Mexico celebrates winning a shorthanded battle against the French. So bring out the tequila hombres and hombre-ettes and celebreate!
One of Adam's old friends Don sent an email to everyone explaining today and since I was going to post my own little homage to it, I asked him for his permission to post his instead. It's funny and very Don! So everyone, put your hands together for TWEEDLEDON!!!!
(For those of you who don't know Don, he's a funny funny guy who lived in Montreal and can snap out a witty comment faster than a 12 your old boy can snap a classmates brastrap)
Enjoy!

Happy Cinco de Mayo!

Read all of this to share with me what has become one of the sweetest
days of the year!

And what a great day it is! Cinco de Mayo is a Mexican national
celebration that's gained popularity across North-America as a great
excuse to party, wear oversized hats, and show off your extensive
knowledge of the Spanish language by pronouncing Jalapeño, Burrito and
Con Queso correctly. It's as good a reason as there is to drink
Tequila - or, for the true connoisseur, Mescal. You can't help but
feel a little ahead of the curve when you celebrate this day,
half-expecting Tequila bars to spread like wildfire in the coming
years, finally giving Irish Pubs and St-Patrick's day some much-needed
competition!

On a personal note, any holiday that lets me eat spicy food while
living unashamedly with the gaseous consequences is alright by me. I'm into this celebration more and more every year, and now that I
live in Quebec I have even more reason to celebrate. Read on to learn
why!

You see, I'm guessing a lot of you don't do much to celebrate Cinco de
Mayo, and were probably until now unaware that it's incorrectly
regarded as Mexico's Independence Day (Mexico's real Independence Day
is on September 16, the day in 1810 that Hidalgo decided to strike out
for independence against the Spanish government). The trick, though,
is that most of you have at least heard of it, and know that it's got
something to do with Mexicans and their cool hats, know that it's May
5th, and that it involves parades and parties and general feelings of
solidarity.

Meanwhile, in the smoking section of this great land we call Canada,
none, and I mean not a one, of my coworkers had the slightest sniff
what this day might be. I know, because I asked. Not even the
Spanish-speaking Chilean who's sitting next to me right now in his
festive-peach-coloured shirt had ever even heard of it. Now, Chile is
in every important way much closer to Mexico than, say, Calgary, yet
being a first-generation Quebecker has somehow rid this poor bloke of
his will to know about anything that exceeds the borders of this
province. Incidentally, the festive-peach-shirt-wearing Chilean has
unsurprisingly just scored quite high on a Gay-o-meter test, so I'll
go easy on him for the rest of this rant.

The Quebeckers' ignorance of international (or even inter-provincial)
matters should come as no surprise to anyone who's been paying
attention to what I've been saying about them for the past few years. Linguistic barriers, a culture of apathy, and a healthy dose of
inbreeding have led to a certain proud ignorance which I find
particularly grating. As a result, I've taken it upon myself to
educate the cretins - I've installed a festive Cinco de Mayo poster,
I'm wishing everyone a happy celebration, and I'm patiently explaining
to anyone who cares to listen that it's a Mexican national celebration
that's spread across North-America, and is a great reason to party. I've been met with some open curiosity (a very good sign!), but mostly
what I get is disdain - one person even saying (in French) "Is that a
Quebec holiday? No?" and walking away like anything but an official
Quebec-Nazi-Government-Approved holiday was unworthy of her time.

Still, I feel that my time is not wasted, for the curious few who have
shown some interest give me hope. I feel that if I had a Mariachi
Band and Tequila girls I might have an easier time of it, but then
education was never supposed to be easy. And with regards to the
ignorant many who scorn Cinco de Mayo - as though mere knowledge of
its existence might grow like a cancer in their brains, eventually
defeating them like the British defeated their ancestors on the very
plains where they celebrate their deluded "National" holiday every
year - I can take one final bit of joy.

You see, Cinco de Mayo isn't Mexico's Independence Day, but it has,
from my point of view, just as much significance. In 1862, Emperor
Napoleon III tried to invade Mexico, sending 6500 French soldiers to
march on Mexico City. On May 5th, 1862, in an event which must have
resembled the battle on the Plains of Abraham 103 years earlier, the
Mexican General Ignacio Zaragoza led his ill-equipped militia of 4500
men against the French, and won! And that's what Cinco de Mayo
celebrates!

The poster above my desk resonates in my mind like a sweet bell of
truth - so take that you cheese-eating surrender-monkeys!