The Cat

Y'all know about Bonsai. He's the other man in my life, all sexy with his sleeky grey self, nicely dappled with white And his hygene? Immaculate! (he never misses the litter box and grooms himself all the time!) He's a real communicator, always letting me know how he feels. What more could I ask for in "the other man".
So the cat, he's large, 16 lbs, and he likes to cuddle. Which is fine, until you feel him compress the life out of you and he sleeps on your chest or back, or squish your boobs until you wonder if they can pop-- as is my case really, I don't think that Adam suffers with that. When Bonsai can't situate himself direct on us he will be happy with smushing his body right next to one of us while we are sleeping, or his favorite right between us. SCORE! Toughing both of my humans at once!
Now this sounds all cute and sweet and stuff, except he is a big cat, and when he sleeps he must be right against someone. Here in lays the problem, Adam and I sleep in the bed, not perched on the side, and again I stress, big cat. SO when he gets all settled we're seperated from each other and unable to move at the risk of falling off of the bed. The cat mostly sleeps between us since we are both side sleepers so he can't sleep on us, so we are forced to the sides of the bed. You just can't slide him out of the way, becasue he's, uhmmm a big cat.
I actually woke up last night and would move him to the foot of the bed so he can sleep down there, and I spent a lot of time petting him and making sure he was all happy before I went back to sleep. As I would lay down he grabbed my and with his paws! Sneaky little devil. So I would pet him more and quickly retreat. Then he would get us and try to sneak back to his sweet spot. So I would tell him "NO", and he would give this look of feigned innocence. I SWEAR HE DID. But he would stop walking and stand there until I closed my eyes. Then he would creep up some more. Again NO! and innocent look and pause, eyes closed, creep NO!... yadda yadda yadda. So I would move him to the foot again. This went on for an hour, and it's the middle of the night. Then I got this thought that I should let him sleep where he wants cause when we get the puppy he will sleep at the head with us with him being so small and such, and I dont' want Bonsai to be jelous. So Adam and I perched ourselves on the edge of the bed and Bonsai got the sweet spot.